I am back

I am back

I have been gone for a while, deciding if I am going to keep blogging, I miss my old layout and account but somehow it stopped working ūüė¶

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Random Acts Of Kindness Challenge

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I am doing it! My friend, Natalie Olsen ( love her), put up a Random Acts of Kindness challenge for this week on her facebook and I decided to accept the challenge.

Our world is broken hearted and crushed right now. We all feel the pain. What if all of us started looking at ways to love? Share love? Give love? It doesn’t have to be major, it has tobe from the heart.

Wikipedia says

Kindness is the act or the state of being kind, being marked by good and charitablebehavior, pleasant disposition, and concern for others. It is known as a virtue, and recognized as a value in many cultures and religions (see ethics in religion). Research has shown that acts of kindness does not only benefit receivers of the kind act, but also the giver, as a result of the release of neurotransmitters responsible for feelings of contentment and relaxation when such acts are committed. [1

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So I am going to accept this challenge. We have done this before in February and just randomly, but I am doing it this week. I normally do not post about it but I am going to this week, please join me, share the love!

Helping_the_homeless

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Love~ keeping the Fire Burning

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I married the love of my life 5 months ago and while I never thought marriage changes much, it has. In the unexpected ways. I love Amanda and I know she loves me. We were committed for life before marriage but something about standing in front of those we love and cherish, sharing our hearts, vulnerably, to all was something I have never experienced. 

There are so many things I try to do for her, for us everyday but somehow life is so busy all the time. How do people do it? How do you keep it fresh? I know we have this amazing beautiful love but I want to keep her on her toes with new fresh adventure. I love that we have made the comfort level of a long standing relationship, as it comes with a lot of certainty and calm. But I also want to be spontaneous. When we were first together, we went to Mexico, just told her to book off a week in a week and we went. We flew to LA for 3 days, just for fun. We would go to the zoo in Calgary. I would drive us somewhere and we would go for a crazy walk/hike. We would laugh and I looked forward to those adventures. We still are the same people but complacent, so what do YOU do to keep the excitement of love alive? 

What are your thoughts?

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Letting Go~ Teens

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This is my boy. But he is no longer a boy, he is a young man, just 17.

He was asked to leave home. Wow. Thats is so hard to say, so hard to believe. He is one of the most incredible people you would ever meet. He is so funny, so caring, so kind and so angry.

I miss him. I feel lost without hearing his loud self echoing in our home. But i can breathe. He is not pissed off at everything. He is angry and on attack verbally to me. I don’t know why. I wish I did. He is usually calm and happy but if we say no, he loses his shit. Friday he was grounded, he is failing math, he is not putting the effort in. His teachers are finding he is always on his phone in class and not doing his homework. He is grounded until he is passing. He understood.

He wanted to go shopping with his friend for a tie. We said no. He lost his shit. He became so verbally abusive and said things that I could not imagine could come out of his mouth. it is the 100th time. It has to end. I can not be under attack anymore.

He is not allowed back unless he learns respect. He must take an Anger Management course and go to counselling and then we will also do family counselling. He agreed. He is at his friends house for a month. If things do not change, he will have to figure that out.

There is so much more to this but frankly my soul is so broken right now, I have nothing in me to write. To share. I feel numb. With stabbing shots of pain. Hurt from the guttural place deep inside that is very guarded. I want to be loved and respected. If you knew me as a mother you would know it is the one thing I gave all of me too. I love my son, but i love me enough to know I can not live like this.

We are all sad but we are all safe, emotionally safe. Amanda, my wife and Tatyanah, our daughter.

We teach people how to treat us.

Sometimes it is harder than we thought, I think that means it matters that much more.

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Jake

Letting Go~ Teens

Jakob being Jakob

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Happy blogging!

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